Lost Hope: Broken Dreams (English Version)
by inolvidable23
Summary: Summary: AU 4X13. When Lauren pushed Kenzi out of the way and sacrificied herself for them jumping in the portal, she never though in the life she was leaving behind or the impact her death would cause in the life of the people around her. A/N: This is the firts of the english versions of my stories. (This a AU so some of the caracters are a little OC for the story purpouses)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Evony, The Dark Heart**

In the same moment Lauren came back to the room where minutes ago Massimo was killed by the succubus, I knew that maybe I was wrong about that human. Maybe she wasn't really a bitch without heart, maybe she was just a bitch.

"Come on, Evony, I have to take you somewhere safe" said Lauren offering me her hand.

I didn't believe in her but she wasn't looking at me in the wrong way either, she knew I didn't trust her after what she did and I smiled thinking that maybe I could use that knowledge when giving her my maybe taking her back to my bed.

"Let's go" murmured Lauren.

"Why should I trust you? For all I know this could be part of your plan to kill me" I said.

Lauren looked at me like I was stupid and I felt a little like I was, if she really wanted me killed she would have told Bo and I would be dead by now.

In the end I did choose to follow her..

"I don't have all day, Morrigan" said Lauren. "I need to get to the temple too so let's go"

"The temple?" I asked surprised. "Why would you go there?"

"Bo and the others are there, fighting" she said. "I have to be with them"

She was determined and I was surprised to see that she wanted on go to a suicide mission all by herself. But maybe she didn't know that everything that was touched by the Pyrippus was destroyed in the end.

"You can't go, He will kill you" I said

"Kill me?" she asked.

Slowly pats of the old prophecy came back to my mind, making me look at Lauren while I was faced with the truth about the things that were about to happen in that temple.

"The heart" I murmured breathless.

I didn't take my eyes off Lauren while she was faced with the same truth about the prophecy, she couldn't believe the facts and was determined to change that fate. I could see it all in her big surprised brown eyes.

"Come on"said Lauren. "You're coming with me"

"What!?" I shouted. "No way, that guy will kill us"

"We have to go" she insisted "Kenzi...she..."

She was having a hard time breathing and I was the only one there to calm her down so I grabbed her by the shoulders and I kissed her with all I had surprising and relaxing her till she forced me away.

"You kissed me?"asked Lauren.

"Yeah, I like when you get nervous." I said similing. "But don't get your hopes up, you're property of the succubus and, frankly, I'm glad. You two are the worst"

Laure smiled making me smile more while our eyes were looking into each others till the real world came back to us and we looked to the door.

"The temple..." Lauren said looking at me. "Evony"

"Let's go" I said annoyed. "But after this I'm asking for a pay-back coming from the succubus."

Lauren sighed before letting us out of the building, lucky for us Massimo brought his motorbike so we didn't waste time in getting to the temple.

_Me and the doctor...who knew..._

I smiled when Lauren broke the speed limit and got us in time to the battle. We were tired and scared but the two of us knew what we were about to see. I was going to face the Pyrippus and Lauren would see the death of the other human and the succubus' destruccion. Because that was inevitable.

"Tamsin!"

The valkyrie turned after punching another soldier, she came to us with the emotions playing at her eyes and hugged Lauren after giving me a hard look and a cold shoulder.

"Doc, they're smashing us and I can't find the others." said Tamsin.

"I see..." said Lauren. "Tamsin, can you take care of Evony while I go look for the others?"

I looked at Lauren like she had grown two heads, I think that even Tamsin was not beliving what she said. The valkyrie grabbed Lauren's hands and looked at her worried.

"No doc, you can't go alone" said Tamsin.

"Tamsin, we don't have time for this now" said Lauren. "Stay with Evony and don't worry, I know what I have to do."

Lauren smiled showing her weapons behing her jacket, a tactic I knew was learned from Vex after passing some time with him on the dark side. _Very smart, doc..._

"But doc." said Tamsin.

"I have to do this, Tamsin." said Lauren with a smile. "You know about the prophecy, right?"

I could see the tears on Tamsin's face and was suprised of not finding it strange till I though about Tamsin's time and bonding with Kenzi when she was turned into a little girl again.

"And you know that if its not her" said Lauren. "It has to be me."

"Doc" cried Tamsin.

"Everything is going to be fine" said Lauren. "I will be waiting for you to take me to Valhalla."

In that moment I understood everything like a bomb going off in my face and everything that I didn't think possible turned around in my head like a tragic puzzle. The succubus' heart was divided in two halfs, one was Kenzi, her sister, her companion and her best friend forever and the other was her love, the real and painful one, Lauren, the only woman with the key to Bo's soul.

"Lauren..." I said trying to stop something I knew I couldn't.

Lauren looked at me with that innocent smile of hers while she kissed my cheek, a normal thing for humans and a goodbye for us. _Is this what true_ _pain is? _I felt a bit more of this pain while Lauren hugged Tamsin one more time before start her run towards Kenzi and the portal.

"Kenzi!" shouted Bo "No!"

But I wasn't worried about her screams, of course not, I was worried about the form of the human I learned a lot from and of jumping in front of the other human, the best friend of the succubus. I saw Lauren push Kenzi out of the way while the portal reclaimed his sacrifice and the doctor trembled in pain.

"No!" shouted Kenzi. "Doc!"

"Lauren!" shouted Dyson.

"L..." choked Bo. "Lauren?

All the light stopped when Lauren got tossed to the floor with a loud _"thud"_ making everyone look at her, even me. The portal was closed and Lauren was left on the groud, looking like a beautiful ghost and making it impossible for me to look away from her.

It was like my own torture. _Human...portal...saving the Fae..._

My eyes were glued to Lauren's body who was not moving while Dyson, Tamsin, Kenzi and Bo came close to her, I saw Bo embracing the body of the doctor in her arms and gently, lovingly touching the white skin of her face. That's the moment I saw Lauren open her eyes briefly looking at Bo with the last of her strength and dying wish.

"I love you, Bo" said Lauren making my heart break a little more for her. "thank you."

After that I felt the life leaving the doctor and something wet rolling down my cheek while I looked at the succubus trying to get the doctor back with everything she had.

But it was too late. _This the end... _I pushed my tears away looking at my hand surprised to see that tears are something I've never done before. Especially not for a human. _That's because you're one of them now..._

"I'm crying." I said surprised.

I looked again at Bo crying over Lauren's dead body and I thought that if I had to cry for anyone, Lauren was the best option. Because that day, we lost our doctor, our brilliant mind, our friend, our enemy _her life, her destiny, her human..._But most of all, we lost the best of us all.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**I forgot to do this in the first chapter but I want to thank my beta thatdamnyank for correcting the mistakes and making the story more able to read.

Here you have a new chapter corrected and, like always, thank you.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word**

**(Trick)**

Coming to the temple was a mistake, if the Pyrippus found him here he would be dead.

But he didn't have options, his grandaugther was in danger and he refused to let her down even if that meant to end the life of her best friend.

"Kenzi...are you ready?" he asked.

Kenzi looked at me and bowed her head ready making me feel worse that I already felt, I didn't want to go with this plan but destiny was clear and the prophecy was clearer.

The sacrifice was Bo's heart and that was Kenzi._...or Lauren... _I erased that thought angry with myself, Lauren was no part of us, I didn't know if she was still part of my family anymore but despite that I respected her for her work. She was a brilliant woman but she wasn't the chosen for this job.

"It's time, Kenzi." I said to the human.

"Promise me you will take care of her, Trick." said Kenzi.

"I promise..." I said trying not to cry. "Kenzi, if I could change this..."

Kenzi only gave me a little smile, kissed my cheek and gave me a hug before walking away from me to the portal that tonight would be her death. _All this for the good of the humanity... _My thoughts were interrupted by something else when I looked again at the portal and saw golden hair running to Kenzi and I felt my mouth dropping to the ground as I reconized that person that was now running to Kenzi trying to stop her.

"Lauren..." I murmured.

"Trick!"

Tamsin's voice got my attention while I saw the valkyrie running to me with Evony behind her and then I felt something bad and poisoned trying to get out of the ground. _The Pyrippus... _Time stopped while I watched everything happen in a slow motion. Lauren pushed Kenzi out of the way of the portal, she sent her away with all her strength making the little goth girl fall to the ground while the doctor was grabbed by the portal and it attacked her body.

"Oh my god..." I murmured.

The truth about what was happening paralized me while I looked at Lauren in the air with the pain evident in her eyes, the rest of the people I cared about were crying her name and looking at the body that, minuts later, went fell to the ground making me feel like I was falling with her. And in that moment I remenbered my last talk with her bringing tears to my eyes while I finally understood that I lost the best choice I could have thought for my grandaunghter and I just realized that now.

**Flashback**

"_Look, Lauren, is not like I don't like you for her in another life maybe but the principal problem is that you're..." I murmured._

"_I'm human, right? The great blood king can't have a human in his family." said Lauren with pain filling her eyes._

"_Is not like that." I said "It's just that...she needs something stable, solid and your relationship with Bo is everything but that."_

_Lauren looked at me with sad eyes as I was trying to make her understand my point about humans and Fae in love._

"_I love her, Trick." said Lauren. "I understand that it means nothing to you but that feeling is the only thing I need to do anything for her, even if its painful."_

**End Flashback**

In that moment I didn't understand her words till Kenzi said to me about the reasons behind the doctor's afiliation to the dark and how she did everything to protect Bo from Evony making me feel a little more respect for the doctor. I saw everybody going to Lauren trying to wake her up, Kenzi and Dyson were crying and Bo wrapped her arms around the body of her lover and hugged her lovingly making me cry in sadness. My grandaughter never hugged anyone like this, not since I meet her...

"Lauren.." I heard Bo call. "Lauren, don't do this to me...please, don't do this to me..."

But everything was done now I had to catch my breath seeing my grandaughter breaking before me making my heart cry in pain and, finally, making me see the truth I always failed to see. _She wasn't only a human...she was my grandaughter's mate... _And I lost her despite all my efforts to make Bo happy, I was the one who let her lose her lover and nearly her best friend.

"I'm sorry" I said to no one while my knees gave away. "I'm sorry"

Because even if I knew it was too late for anything, I hoped that Lauren would be hearing my words and could forgive me for everything I've done wrong. _Don't forget this day, Trick...ever... _And he promised that he never would...for all his eternity...

**-Lost Hope: Broken Dreams-**

**(Tamsin)**

_Sometimes when I like something or someone, I have to let it go... _It was one of the best words I had in my book, in fact, were the words that I always used to not to get close too people. I'm a Valkyrie after all and I don't have friends or lovers. Until I meet Bo and Kenzi and with them all their strange people who I tried to hate everytime I saw them together. I've gone through a lot in my lives, I was bretayed, I've seen death, lies and some good moments, a lot of drunken nights and fights, but nothing got me ready for what I was facing now. An apocolypse. But all that didn't seem to matter in that moment when my senses were numb from the pain and the sadnees covering all my body.

_I'll wait for you to take me to Valhalla..._

The words only meant little to most, but for me all the ritual was special, in the end, we were talking about Lauren Lewis and my relationship with her wasn't good but despite that she chose me to get to Valhalla. I looked briefly at Kenzi who was on her knees in front Lauren's body punching the ground with her little hands and asking the question everybody was asking themselves.

"Why!?" shouted Kenzi. "Dammit! Why!?"

_Why did you save us? Why you and why us? _Lauren didn't owe us anything, in fact, I had this feeling that someday, she would make us, Fae, pay for all we did to her, but like always when I thought of Lauren Lewis. I realized I was wrong. She sacrificied everything for us all the time, her knowledge, her love, her friendship and now, her life. But don't get me wrong, I knew the principal reason for Lauren doing this was no other than Bo Dennis

"Lauren please" murmured Bo. "...please, please..."

I couldn't believe I was crying while I started to walk towards Bo and Lauren's body giving a look to Dyson who had all his remorse shining in his eyes while he tapped Kenzi's shoulder and got her away from Lauren and Bo giving me the space to get the doctor's body to her new home. The new home only meant for her.

"Bo" I murmured. "I...I have to take her..."

"No!" she shouted. "she will come back...she has to..."

I looked at Bo and saw her succubus blue eyes shining making me worried about her losing control but at the same time, she looked the same Bo. No dark Bo, only Bo. _Could it be? Bo and her powers finally on the same page? _I looked at Lauren's body, she looked like she was sleeping but her chest didn't rise or fall, she was only there unmoving in Bo's arms while the succubus contained her inner beast inside her.

"Only she had the power to free me" murmured Bo touching Lauren's cheek. "and only she had the power to make me understand.."

I understood then what Lauren's role in all this story was, the only thing I didn't see the first time when I meet them by Evony's hand, something so obvious now that it was scary. The key was Lauren, all this time the key to control Bo's powers was the doctor and now... Now Lauren was dead.

"Bo...I'm so sorry." I said sincerely.

Because it was the truth, I was sorry for not beging able to save her from this pain, sorry for it not beging me that was the one chosen to stop the Pyrippus in Kenzi's or Lauren's place, sorry for beging one of the persons to blame for ending the love they shared.

I was sorry for so many things that I didn't know were to start.

"She was my light" murmured Bo kissing Lauren's cheek and face. "my peace, my strengh, I can't live whitout her."

"Bo..." I called worried.

"I only want to go with her" said Bo. "only that"

I sighed knowing that the depressive aura around Bo would stay with her for a long time and I forced myself to look at Dyson and Trick who looked at me while Evony looked the other way and Kenzi started to cry worse when, after a couple of seconds, I grabbed Lauren separating her from Bo covering her with my embrace. At first Bo fought, trying to get to Lauren and before she could free herself of Trick and Dyson restraining her, I covered myself and Lauren with my wings and watched Bo lose strength till her knees gave away. She was like a broken doll. I looked one more time at the people around Bo making them know what they already realized. After this, everything would change. Because losing Lauren, in some way, was like losing the only hope that could save us...losing her was losing the hope of your last spark of light in darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Dyson/Kenzi: Memorials**

**((Dyson))**

Two days I'm still not used to not having her here, to knowing that she will never be here again. How do you face the death of the person who meant a lot to you but you didn't knew till it was too late? That's the question I keep asking to myself while Trick and I got ready Lauren's burial. _Only a couples of weeks before we were in Hale's burial... _

I couldn't believe that my little family was destroying itself this way, first Hale dying because of stupid revenge and now Lauren who sacrificed herself to save all of us from a destiny worse than death. And the two of them died saving Kenzi. I closed my eyes as the pain ran through my body as I thought that everything was my fault, I'm a wolf it is my duty is protect everyone in my pack. But the only thing I did was see them die.

"Dyson" murmured Trick. "Someone called from the light compound, we can go now to get Lauren's body."

I looked at the blood king while he let out a breath, his eyes looked tired and without light just like mine and with good reason. Trick had watched over Bo and Kenzi all these painful days.

"I can go to get her" I murmured. " It is better if you go to see Kenzi and Bo...see if they are ready for...tomorrow."

"I don't think I'm capable to look Bo in the eyes right now" said Trick.

I looked at him without any energy to give or not to give him the reason, in the end, it was his plan to use Kenzi as a sacrifice, a plan that would have worked if it was not for...for Lauren.

"Stay here then, Trick." I murmured. "I need to do this alone."

Trick bowed his head giving me a little brave smile as I left the Dahl to retrieve Lauren's body from the light compound, to give her the peace she finally deserved. The peace we Fae never gave her before.

"The cause of death was not enough oxygen to her heart." said the forensic doctor. It was like someone just strangled her heart."

I had to use the table as a support not beging able to stand what the doctor was telling me about the autopsy, somethings I imagined but hurt me all the same like the grasp that took Lauren's life.

"You can get her now, Thornwood" said the doctor.

He gave me the papers and left me alone with the body without looking back, just as if she didn't matter. Lauren was his boss for years but despite that, she didn't matter to anyone Fae, except her friends. I walked to Lauren's body trembling a little when I got to her and touched her now cold skin and for the first time since the day she died, I felt the tears rolling down my face while I watched her calm and resigned face.

"Kenzi or you.." I said in a broken whisper. "and you chose Kenzi for her and for everyone, right Lauren?"

The pain was destroying my soul while my tears rolled without stopping, trying to convey my loss and the situation around us that didn't allow us to get to know each other better. _Maybe we would have been friends earlier in other circumstances? Maybe you would have become, like now, my sister?_

"I'm sorry I was too late, Lauren." I sobbed trying to ease the pain in my soul. "I'm sorry I could not be a better friend to you."

When we learned to get past our rivalry for Bo we learned to trust each other in moments of need and to respect each other for our loyalties. Our friendship was one for the lonely. And the truth about that one punched me with all its power making me fall to my knees while my inner wolf and I cried together. Putting my head on the cold metal table where Lauren was. The table from where she would never wake up.

"I love you, Lauren" I murmured not being able to say anything else.

The tears ran down my face while I tried to calm myself when I felt a hand on my collarbone and a kiss planted on my head. I could say who it was and from where she came.

"Tamsin" I said getting up to hug her.

"I just let Lauren's soul into Valhalla" she murmured. "...it was...hard."

I hugged her against my chest feeling her trembling body in my own, for us wasn't easy to believe that someone like Lauren, who always gave peace and had a master mind, wasn't here with us anymore.

"Calm down" I said. "breathe"

"I'm not used to feel these things, Dyson" she said into my chest. "when I left her, she asked me to tell you something and she said something to me."

I waited for her to calm down in my arms before getting her to sit down and look into her eyes as she got ready to tell me Lauren's last words.

"She thanked me for begin a bitch." said Tamsin half laughing half sobbing. "because this way she was sure that I would take care of Bo and Kenzi with everything I have."

I waited without saying anything else hoping that Tamsin could calm herself for her own good.

"She told me that she wanted you to know that in her heart she will always treasure her last months with you." Tamsin said. "that you were the best wolf brother she could ask for and that everything in the past was forgotten because she only had good memories from you now."

I breathed closing my eyes while Tamsin's hands encircled mine making me unable to get away before the pain came rushing trough my body after Lauren's last words to me.

And the memories of our last months together. _Coming with him to save Bo from the Una Mens, a mortal peril for her and despite everything that had happened between them._

_The drunken night with her and Vex in Bo's room, the two of them talking without regrets or hatred, only them and their thoughts. The day we decided to put aside ours differences to help Bo to retrieve her lost memories. The talk after knowing that Bo's destiny was Rainer. Hale's death..._

The tears started to run down my face again at the injustice of our lives, the loss we suffered and from which we would never be the same. Because no one could ever replace Hale...

...or Lauren.

"She was the best too, Tamsin.." I said crying. "the best sister I could ask for..."

And with only Tamsin to give me strength I cried like a child while I touched Lauren's cold hand and knowing that I had to say goodbye in my head while my heart refused to see the truth. Because wolf's didn't say goodbye to their pack members...they cried for them forever.

**-Lost Hope: Broken Dreams-**

**((Kenzi))**

"_You think that you're better than us!"_

"_No, Kenzi! You believe I'm not enough for Bo!"_

"_I only want to take care of her!"_

"_And I love her!"_

"_I know!"_

I woke up with cold sweat covering my forehead while I remembered one of my arguments with Lauren about Bo. When I thought that my fellow human wasn't enough for my best friend. Irony of life, I started thinking differently lately, when I saw the real Lauren Lewis, I realized that she was everything that Bo needed. And I remembered, all the times that Lauren was there for me.

_So...shadow thief... _

_Dyson thinks that is the only power I can have without begin a Fae... _

_The wolf is right, besides, you don't need to be a Fae, Kenzi, you're liked as you are now..._

I never told her that with her words to me that day she killed many of my fears about not being good enough as a human but she looked like she understood my insecurities because she stayed with me all the time talking to me about the shadow thief's, there abilities and all their secrets. Practicing like we've been best friends all our life. That moment was the first one I had only with just her, our first bonding without Bo, Dyson, without the Fae, only two humans in a crazy world trying to survive. And then, with Hale's death, I felt like she was the only one who could understand me. The agony of losing the one you love and the broken heart left after that.

"_The pain is overwhelming Kenzi, but you have to stay strong, you have to move on for you and for Hale..."_

"_I can't Lauren,...not without him I..."_

"_You can do this, Kenzi, you are the bravest person I know, you have strength and determination. I know that all this can help you now. I know the path is gonna be hard, you will have numb days but you can do this, you can face this..."_

"_Will you stay with me?"_

"_Every step of the way..."_

"Liar." I murmured feeling the tears running down my face. "Liar..."

In that moment I didn't knew about her plans of making Evony human to protect Bo so I didn't believe her words despite my heart telling me they were true. Making me feel like the dumbest person in the world now. I will always remember her death, when she pushed me out-of-the-way and she jumped into the portal without thinking on her own death or the pain. Without thinking of us or, maybe, thinking of us too much.

And without knowing it, new tears poured down my cheeks while I tried to control my pain for Bo's sake, she was in her own room and she was having her own meltdown, she surely didn't need mine too. Because like me, she lost the love of her life too but despite me, she realized that to late. I breathed trying to calm down while I took a photograph of the group, the first and last we took before going after the Garuda when all of us were innocent and idiots. When all we wanted was adventure.

"What I'm gonna do now without the two of you?" I murmured to the photograph.

Hale's smile in the photograph hit me making me smile thankful for all the moments I got to pass with him that I will never forget. And then I looked into Lauren's eyes who gave me all the confidence I needed, she had her shy smile on her lips, the one we nearly never got to see. The one I couldn't even remember.

"Kenzi?"

Trick's voice got me out of my thinking. He had the saddest look I've ever seen on him, obviously because of what happened.

In the end, he never looked at Lauren like more than a slave.

"Lauren left this for you." he murmured giving me a letter. "the other one is for Bo, I got to give it to her and the I will go with Dyson to prepare the burial."

I closed my eyes while I grabbed the letter and Trick left me alone with my thoughts, the date of the letter was about a year ago when she escaped from Taft. When we weren't friends so I had the curiosity to know what she wanted to tell me. Opening the letter I started to read only to get my heart-broken with every word she wrote. And my tears started to fall without control down my cheeks.

_**Kenzi,**_

_**I know you'll be asking yourself what I'm doing writing a letter to you but I have to do it now I know that I'll be gone, probably forever and I need to tell you what I think about you.**_

_**I envy you a lot, Kenzi and sometimes I don't know how keep this secret in front of other people, you are everything I wanted to be all my life, but despite my efforts, I'm only a slave and you...you are everything else so I'm writing this to ask you a favor, use this importance to create peace between humans and Fae, look for common grounds were they can live and work together.**_

_**You are something incredible, Kenzi, in every aspect and for that I ask for this favor not because you're Bo's best friend but because I know you are the only one who can do this work. I leave in my house all you need to help you even though I know you'll probably never read this letter.**_

_**And now let me thank you for beging Bo's best friend nobody could take care of her like you , not even me or Dyson and that's what makes you unique.**_

_**Because you are her heart and always will be and for that you don't need to be a Fae.**_

_**Because you never will need to be a Fae while you maintain the strength to makes you...yourself.**_

_**The special human that I meet and the strangest sister I could have asked for.**_

_**Good luck, Kenzi, I hope life gives you everything you want.**_

_**Lauren Lewis**_

I sighed leaving the letter on my nightstand and the pain screamed through my body like a caged animal letting my sadness show in my eyes and without caring if Bo was in the other room or not.

It was Lauren's death and even if we weren't best friends I felt as if some of me was gone with her.

"Kenzi...-said Trick.

"She died for me!" I shouted out of control. "Why!? Why she didn't just let me die!?"

Trick hugged me while my knees gave away and dropped me to the ground with all my sadness punching me in the face. She treated me like an annoying sister and for the first time in all the years I knew her I wanted to be just that, to have the right to cry for her.

Because in some way, I looked at her like a sister too and now she wasn't there anymore to tell what I have to do or to get on my nerves. Making me realize that from now on I won't remember her like doctor Lauren Lewis anymore. No...I will remember her like Lauren, the woman who saved my life and sacrificed herself for the world, her friends and her love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Bo: Can't Let Go**

I will never understand a day like this, the sun is raising with all his glory and the birds are singing like nothing happened. Like you weren't gone from my side.

"BoBo...the burial will start in an hour." murmured Kenzi behind me.

I didn't answer her, I didn't need to, she knew perfectly I needed my time to adapt to this new life you left me after sacrificing yourself for us. After saving Kenzi from her death sentence. I embraced myself letting a breath out of my body while I remembered you pushing my best friend, my heart, out of the danger only for it to be you, the one receiving the punishment. I was the one to blame and you were the one paying the price.

Like the fact of realizing in that very moment the truth that I wasn't admitting to myself in the four years of knowing you. The simple truth of you being the love of my very long life, you and only you, Lauren Lewis. I saw you fall to the ground like an angel while I felt my heart begin destroyed, Kenzi was safe, yes but...you? Did I win something for losing you? I only won realizing what I just lost. The memories came back to my mind, the ones between the moment I saw you fall till the end when Tamsin took you away from me only to bring you to your new home. The Valhalla

**Flashback**

_I got free from Dyson's grasp running to you, who was in the ground with Kenzi by your side crying and screaming at your stupidity and asking you why did you did this. Why you did save her from death only for you to be the one taken._

_"Lauren..." I murmured embracing your body. "Lauren, Lo, come on, answer me..."_

_The fear was strong in my heart while Kenzi grabbed your hand not causing any reaction from you. I looked into your eyes not knowing what to do. Without knowing why my powers didn't take control from me to save you like all the other times._

_"Lauren, don't do this to me..." I said trying not to cry. "don't do this to me..."_

_The agony felt like a life time because I didn't know what would happen if you were gone for sure, because you never told me what would happen, how I would learn to feel again if everything surrounding me had a cruel silence. And my soul was cold. I embraced you, feeling something inside me break, my powers were crying for you, I was crying for you and I realized that all this time that it was you, you were the key, my lifesaver. You helped me to control my powers the first time and now, you were the one to control my succubi who only wanted to feel you again._

_"Lauren...Lauren please open your eyes..." I murmured trembling. "you can't leave me, I don't know how to do this without you and...and I was stupid baby, I don't know how to start to apologize, I only know that I love you, Lauren and if you go now I will not know how to live anymore...I can't live without you, Lo..."_

_I kissed your cheek and I looked at Kenzi who had your had on her cheek while I could feel all our family behind me, the people you'll be leaving behind if you go. And then, like it was magic I saw your eyes open and you looking at me with a smile._

_"I love you, Bo..." you said with your last breath. "thank you.."_

_I looked at you for seconds till I saw your eyes close again and I felt inside me my succubi crying in sadness for the pain that I still couldn't believe. And then I felt my powers in control and my succubi grieving with me when finally the truth of you punched me in the face. You weren't with me anymore._

_"Lauren.." I murmured. "Lauren, no..." I sobbed while I embraced your body close to me. "Lauren! No!"_

**End Flashback**

I didn't know how much time I was there till Tamsin came and took you from me, leaving me alone in a world that I hated more everyday, nearly as much as my powers. Your death changed me Lauren, it not only brought me to a shocked state but, for ironic if must be, with your lose my succubi didn't want to feed and now I can be with one person without getting worried. But I only want to be with you and you're gone now.

Sometime I ask myself if this is my punishment for not beging better for you, if realizing the truth of my feelings for you to late was the real loss. I breathed closing my eyes for a moment feeling the shadow of your hands hugging me, like you were here, by my side, embracing me with love while I felt my world stopping. Because without you, my world would just stop.

"Bo?"

Trick appeared by my side and sat with me grabbing my hands that were soaked with tears for you while he gave me a letter.

"It...It's from Lauren.." Trick murmured. "I found two of them in her purse, one was for you and the other for Kenzi."

"Kenz...?" I murmured.

"She sacrificed herself for me!" I heard Kenzi scream. "Why!? Why didn't she let me die!?"

I grabbed the letter in my hands while Trick went to Kenzi's room trying to calm her and I just sat there, alone, closed off in my pain and beging smashed by Kenzi's pain, she didn't realize till it was to late your importance in our lives. _We all were wrong about you, Lo... _I let a breath our before opening the letter, looking at Lauren's handwriting and I surprised myself crying again when the words of my doctor started to cut me to the bone.

_**Hi Bo,**_

**_At this time you will think me as a traitor, you will think that I don't love you and that there more lies that I don't know how explain to you in person now, although I think you won't even want to hear from me again. _**

_**You have to know, Ysabeau that I have loved you since the first moment I saw you till this very moment when my heart is looking for you every time of the day, this is a feeling I never thought I could have for anyone, in fact, I never felt it, even when I was with Nadia, it is consuming and it makes me weak...you stole my soul, Bo as you did the same with my life and my heart.**_

_**Is it fair to say this when I know that you probably don't love me anymore?**_

_**I wonder if you thought of that when you were leaving with Tamsin or when you kissed her, I wonder if you thought of that when you let Dyson give you all I can't or** **what you think I can't. Because for you I would give up my life.**_

**___But I'm only human my love, and that is enough for it beging impossible to be together even if that's the only thing I want. I wish to have met you in another life Bo, and to be able to be together. Like humans, like Fae or like anything else._**

**_We won't see each other again, Bo, now in this life and I truly want the best for you with Dyson or Tamsin or the person you choose. Someone I hope, knows how lucky he or she is to have your heart._**

**_I love you, Ysabeau with all my heart, my human heart and I wish for the day you'll be mine in the same way that I'm yours since the moment we meet. Till that day, I'll be waiting._**

**_Yours forever,_**

_**Lauren Lewis**_

You never judged me for beging a succubi, you only did that for my bad actions, things I did and finally they cost me your life, without knowing it and now in this goodbye you wrote just after Taft, I realize you never throw me the blame of anything. You only blamed our biology. But you were wrong in something Lauren, you said that I didn't love you but I did, since the moment you came into my life and even after your words in Taft's laboratory, I loved you. I love you now, when my soul is destroying itself thinking I will have to live a life without you.

The grief covered me when I realised that will be the only thing I could hold onto, a life without you only the memories and the moments that you will not live with me. Like you said in the letter, you will give up your life for me and you proved it only a couple of days before, sacrificing yourself for the other most important person in my life.

"But what do I have without you?" I said to the letter. "You think of that? Of what would become of me?"

My pain turned to rage as I realized that you thought of Kenzi but you didn't look at the big picture, you didn't think of the consequences of your actions. Or worse, you thought about the but imagined that we would do just fine without you.

"Your always thinking that you're not important to us..." I murmured feeling my breath start to go faster. "You never thought we could be crying for you! You never understood that you were important to us!"

I started to punch my bed not being able to do anything else, angry with you for dying, with me for being an idiot, with Kenzi for not giving you an opportunity, with Dyson, Tamsin and Trick for thinking less of you.

"My life! Is what you are Lauren Lewis! My goddamned life that you took with you!" I cried punching the bed. "come back, please! Don't leave me like this!"

Because the agony of knowing that you will never know our true feelings for you, my love for you, was killing me faster than any venom. Because without you here, I didn't want to go on.

"Please" I sobbed. "please"

"BoBo..."

I felt Kenzi's hug but my heart only felt the coldness of your death, the only thing I will never heal from completely, while one question numbed my mind. _What I'm gonna do now without you?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: What Hurts The Most**

"Odin has you in his glory, Lauren Lewis. Rest in peace."

Trick closed his eyes saying a prayer as he finished speaking and proceeded to let the others say their goodbyes to the doctor before Dyson and Bruce put the tomb down to the ground and with that ending the life of one of the best minds that they had been lucky to find. The first one to get to the tomb was Bruce who kissed one red rose before letting it fall to the tomb while he cried kneeling before her.

"For your sacrifice you will always be remembered like the hero of this world." murmured Bruce. "thanks, human."

After him Evony was next throwing a black glove while her face showed the tears she couldn't let fall. In the end even if that human affected her she was still The Morrigan.

"Well played, doc..." said Evony. "good luck up there."

Evony breathed before looking in front of her where Vex was hidden in the trees with a sad look and she saw him use his powers to get one of the roses to move and to fall to the tomb while he closed his eyes. _See ya...doc..._

Trick was next, his eyes showing the sadness that he couldn't believe he was feeling for a human, his faults with her and with her kind when he thought that they where nothing more than slaves. Like always, Lauren proved him wrong. He left his rose on the tomb while he put a hand to his face when the tears started to fall for his cheeks.

"I hope someday you can forgive me, Lauren" he murmured more for himself than for her. "because I know that I couldn't forgive myself till I see you again"

He got up to let Tamsin come closer, the valkyrie breathed before letting her rose calmly on Lauren's tomb and looked at her like she was lost in the brilliant wood.

"How many things I lost with you, doc?"she asked. "maybe if Odin is good with us I will discover the truth someday, till then, I hope he protects you, savior..."

Tamsin moved to let Dyson walk calmly up, the wolf had tears in his eyes and he looked affected for the loss of the doctor and with her, the friendship they had. The one he had with his partner before. Dyson breathed falling to his knees before Lauren's tomb with eyes full of sadness and pain while he dug his claws into the bright lawn of the cemetery and snorted letting another wave of pain pass his body.

"I never told you that you were admirable, Lauren..I've never let you know that I was proud to have you with us because your mind was precious to the Fae even when it looked like it wasn't." he said. "but above all, I never told you that in these last months you have become a part of my pack and for that this day I will not leave you flowers, I leave you something that everyone in my family left to the fallen, something that you deserve more than any of us."

Dyson closed his eyes while beside him a wolf spirit appeared howling and running to stay beside Lauren's tomb only to transform himself in a stone with solemn eyes of who will pass the rest of his life protecting the human that mattered the most for them.

"Thank you for saving us, Lauren." said Dyson. "thank you for being...one of us..."

Kenzi walked closer when she saw Dyson moving away to be in his spot next to Bo giving her all the strength she needed for her goodbye. The hardest goodbye of her life.

"How many times do I have to say 'thank you' doc?" said Kenzi. "you saved me from so many things that I don't even know were to start, in fact, I think that I would be dead a hundred times by now without you and Bo..." Her throat knotted as she remembered every moment and she had a special place in her memory for when Lauren and she had to fight that group of smelly pigs. The day Kenzi first learned that Lauren had been in Afghanistan.

"You were something strange but even with that...you were part of my family and even if it was too late I realized that you were Bo's happiness and that I could get used to you." murmured Kenzi. "that you started to grow on me...and now..."

She felt a tear falling to her red rose while Kenzi grabbed her between her hands to kiss her and throw her to the tomb while she was trying to control herself to end her goodbye like she wanted.

"I know it is too late for this and I know I should have done this before but..." said Kenzi. "from now on, the world will know how we were, they will know about my big sister with her brilliant mind who saved everyone."

That would be her new goal, one that would help her be a better person and her best way to show the Fae that the humans can be more than slaves from now on. Finally after letting Kenzi end her goodbyes and after giving her best friend a big hug it was Bo's turn to say goodbye walking to the tomb with trembling hands and with a look worse than everybody expected. Though after seeing her, nobody could say that Lauren wasn't Bo's mate.

Bo let a breath out of her body before kneeling in front of Lauren's tomb and looked for some time at the golden name on the plaque of the tomb and below her name, were the best words to describe her were. _One brilliant mind, one life dedicated to others and the bravest death. Your friends and your woman will never forget you._

"I always thought that of the two of us I was going to be the one to go first" murmured Bo "I never thought of losing you and part of me hates myself for now thinking that maybe, if I cared more this would never have happened but I know you Lauren, and I know that you would never let any of this happen even if were together. You have done the right thing to save Kenzi because you are you and I know you loved her like an annoying sister."

She breathed again willing forsome strength while she grabbed between her hands the pendant that Lauren gave her and the white flowers that lie in her arms like a last goodbye from lover to lover.

"Thanks for the pendant, love...its beautiful, like you..." said Bo with tears in her eyes. "god Lauren, I don't know what I will do without you now, how I am going to move on knowing that I will never get to hold you again and that I didn't even get the chance to say how much I love you in our last moments."

She felt her tears rolling down her cheeks without caring about them while she put the white roses on the tomb after kissing them and looked at the ground that now held the woman who would always have in her heart.

"I love you" murmured Bo "and I will always love you, Lauren, till the day I can see you again."

Not far away from that place looking at Bo while she got up from the ground with Kenzi on one side and Dyson on the other, Lauren watched them with tears in her eyes while Hale put a hand over her shoulder and breathed feeling the same pain that the doctor was feeling now.

"They'll be ok, Lauren." said Hale. "and someday...someday we will all be together again."

"Really?" murmured Lauren.

"Yes...really..."

Lauren breathed while accepting her new life as she watched as everyone left the cemetery knowing that even if now they had to be apart, someday they would all be reunited again.

"Till the next time, my friends" said Lauren "and I'll love you, Bo, forever."


End file.
